Halloween Roar!

Mommy Hood

Making the decision I'd be a stay-at-homer is the best decision we could have made. These past (almost) 6 months have flown by, and everyday spent at home with Harlo is golden. We've hit some major milestones, and it wrecks me inside to think some parents don't have this luxury. It would make me sad if someone else was with him when he rolled over, sat on his own, or laughed for the first time. (It also makes me wonder what is wrong with our society that we send mothers off to work only after a few months of welcoming a new person into the world -- whole other topic.)

This month, Jacob (and his colleague) have moved the office from across town into the work studio we have in our backyard. It's quite the setup we have, and I absolutely love having them here everyday. The only minor catch is there is no restroom in the studio, so they have to come inside the house to relieve themselves. No biggie. However, there were a few adjustments to the way our home was arranged that needed to be made. If you were to go back a few pages on this blog you'd see a couple of pictures of our home. If you notice, mommy and daddy's room was right off the kitchen (which happens to be an entrance from the backyard). In order to get some more privacy we've moved into Harlo's room. SCOOT OVER, H... we're movin' in! Now our old room is Harlo's playroom and the three of us share a bedroom. The entrance for the backyard worker bees is free from the 'bedroom feel', and is more welcoming to enter.

And why stop at the bedrooms? We decided to rearrange the living room (again). It's much, much more open and inviting. The whole room feels very spacious and friendly. Yes, rooms can feel friendly. Having a playroom is pretty awesome because the living room is free from baby toy clutter, and I don't have to worry about Harlo crashing into our marble coffee table top. I'm really pleased with the way everything is organized now. It just makes more sense.

I love my hood, and feel very content within my little community.

Cloth Diapers...

Yes, yes... we are still on the cloth diaper train. We only have 6 diapers right now. They're pretty expensive ($18.95/dipe), so we're buying one here and there. I alternate between cloth and disposable throughout the day. We either hand wash and hang to dry, or if they're stinky/messy we machine wash... I end up doing 1 load of laundry a day.

We have 2 different cloth diaper brands: Happy Heiny's and Bum Genius. I highly recommend the H.H. over the B.G. They're easier to use, protect against leakage hellova lot better, and I like the Velcro closures. He's never leaked or blown out the H.H. They're awesome. B.G. is second best.

We also use washcloths for the cleanup instead of wipes. I found the wipes irritate his little behind. It's better to use just water and a mild soap for the butt-cleaning.

HAPPY HEINY'S

BUN GENIUS

Whoops... neglected the blog.

Is there anything more precious and cuter than your own child? I mean, seriously! Look at that face... so damned cute. He's growing fast and I can't believe it's been 2.5 months. We've put him on a bedtime routine, and it's working fabulously. At 8 PM every night he gets his bath, which he loves. Then, it's clean diaper time and a good-night feeding. By 9 PM he's asleep and will sleep until 5:30 AM. It's wonderful. Our days consist of feedings, diaper changings, baths, laughs, hiccups, spit-ups, and love. It's really fun.

If you want more pictures I post them here:

PHOTOS

xoxo

Postpartum

I have my 6 week check up today. Everything feels almost normal, and I'm wondering if my midwife will give me the go-ahead to exercise. The only exercise I've been allowed to do is walk, kegals, and head lifts. I've been walking everywhere and have lost 26 of the 50 pounds I gained during the pregnancy, but I haven't been given permission to vigorously exercise. That means no sit-ups, jogging, bikram yoga-ing, or any other 'indoor sports' (if you know what I mean). Hopefully things have settled where they're supposed to go and I can start taking steps to gaining my pre-pregg body back.

I know I might never look like this again, but I'd sure like to try to get there.



And just because... here's the cutest little sleeper!!

Cloth Diapers...

For the past 5 weeks and 3 days I have been feeling somewhat guilty anywhere from 8-13 times a day. Even though we're using environmentally friendly (aka: expensive) diapers the guilt still lingers... everyday.

SO- I finally broke down, and broke my pocketbook, and purchased Happy Heinys: The top of the line cloth diaper.

Learning...

Harlo has started reaching for things... he loves this gymnastics thing. The little birdie is his favorite right now. He hasn't figured out how to grab onto it, but he looks at it and hits it with his hand- then laughs. **His laughs are soundless, open mouthed, and precious. I just love him so much.

Chubby McCubberton

4 Weeks, 2 Days

He smiles!!

3 weeks old

Breastfeeding rules my life, and has taught me a few things about myself: I'm patient, compassionate, and damned talented at getting things done one-handedly. With the use of only one hand I can check my e-mail, talk on the phone, make a sandwich, water the plants, pay darts, give a massage, and run a marathon.

I need a shirt that says: Baby on Boob. Every two to three hours I am beckoned by our child. He looks at me with wide eyes, and an open mouth. It cracks me up how he head bunts my breast trying to latch onto my nipple, and the noises he makes are enough to make anyone laugh. He's a true comic.

Just look at his face in this picture. He's hilarious. It needs a caption... what is Harlo thinking?

Cousins...

Grammy and Poppy came for a visit... and brought Harlo's cousins: Ethan and Eli.

Photo by Auntie Margot

Harlo's Birth Story

Around 9 PM on May 4th I started feeling as if my period was about to start. It was a feeling I hadn't felt in 10 months. Cramps. "OOH... uh... hmm?? Could this be it?"

Around 1 AM the cramps turned into something more than a menstrual reminder. At 20 minutes apart I could no longer stay in bed, so I started cleaning our house. Skylar followed me around the house all night and into the morning. Poor little doggie... I think she was concerned!

I woke Jacob up at 3:30 AM and we started timing our contractions (**I say OUR because from this point on he went through every contraction with me**). Each contraction was getting stronger and stronger, but still 10-15 minutes apart and too early to go to the hospital. We went for a walk, Jacob massaged my lower back, we took a shower, and by 8 AM it was time to go!

We made the short drive up the hill and arrived at Feather River Hospital (The Best place to have a baby-- great nursing staff, wonderful midwives, and caring doctors!!) around 9 AM. For the next 12 hours I endured a crazy test of my sanity, strength, and womanhood.

Once I was 10 CM dilated I got into the birthing tub. For the next two hours-- nothing happened. I pushed and pushed and pushed and pushed and pushed and did a whole lot of OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHH's and UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH's and deep, low sounding primal noises (I wish I would have recored myself). Once the nurse realized Harlo's head was not moving she called in the midwife (who was assisting another birth). They thought his little body was turned (in the wrong position). The had to call in bigger guns.

The doctor came in about 20 minutes after being called (amazing). He took a look inside and said, "the baby's not turned-- he's stuck". At this point I looked at my midwife and asked her if I could have something for the pain (and for my mind). She looked at me and said, "I'm sorry, but you need all your strength right now and if I give you something you won't be able to push your baby out". I took this as, YOU'RE VERY CLOSE TO HAVING A C-SECTION.

One episiotomy, a vacuum assist, and 6 pushes later: Harlo was born at 9:54 PM on El Cinco De Mayo. He was placed on my chest and bliss poured out of me. He looked at me, I talked to him, we both cried, and I apologized for his cone head. My pelvic bone was in the way, and my tailbone is tilted-- makes for a small vajayjay opening. The doctor had to assist Harlo down, over, and out! BUT we escaped C-Section land.

Love just took on a whole new meaning...

Our boy... Harlo.

He's HERE!!!

Sunday, May 4th: 9 PM--

Cramps and more cramps.

Monday, May 5th: 8:30 AM--

Hospital and 3 Cm dilated.

Monday, May 5th: 9:54 PM--

Baby Harlo Chapel Daley: 8 pds, 8.5 oz.

Baby Harlo.

1 CM Dilated, and 8 more to go...

On Thursday I found out I'm 1 CM dilated and 90% effaced. The midwife advised us to be prepared for this weekend. The baby is on its way. That night we packed our bags with all the essentials needed to keep us comfortable, prepared, and entertained with everything from fresh clothing and nursing pads to healthy snacks and The Happiest Baby on the Block.

Every new parent should check this out...

Well, it's Saturday. The weekend is here. Baby? Nope ... we're just being patient. I kind of wish our midwife wouldn't have told us to get prepared for the weekend because now I'm constantly wondering... however, the fact that I am dilating and opening up makes me really happy.

I'm ready, but also know that the baby has to be ready before anything will happen. One side of my brain is anxious, but the other side is patient. It makes me say things to the baby like, "Baby! Aren't you ready to see us??" and "Baby, I trust you'll come when you're ready".

I'm opening up w/out contracting. Is this normal? I've never even experienced Braxton Hicks. Maybe the baby will just slide out... or swim its way out the birth canal. Maybe I'll be one of the lucky ones who feel "no pain". Yea...

To Whine, or not to wine...

Wait, wait, wait... oh, and wait.

I don't feel any different today than I did last week. While relaxing in bed last night I started to visualize myself going into labor. I kept telling myself, "water- you can break now".

I really don't want to go too far past my due date. The closer I get to that DUE DATE the more I want the contractions to start... and I want them to start on their own. If I am 2 weeks past that date they will start to induce me, which means poking and drugs and membrane stripping and not what I want.

Inducing Labor

Not only do I NOT want to be induced, but I also don't want to push a 10 pound baby out the birth canal. It can be done-- my mother did it, but I don't want to relive that history. Scares me. So basically, the baby should come today.

Is there a Baby Dance I can do to get things going? Can I start pushing now?

1 Week From Today

And the clock ticks twice as fast. I'm due in 7 days. I've been pregnant for 273 days. I haven't had a sip of alcohol since August 24th, 2007. And I have been slowly wanting my body back for 21 days. I'm ready. The baby's room is ready. The house is ready. The baby shower is finished. The belly cast is finished. The classes are finished. Come on out now little one. Mommy and daddy are finished waiting.

Baby Blessing...

Yesterday we created a cast of my belly! It was so much fun, and the cast turned out really nice. Here are a few pictures:














Thank you all who were there to help... couldn't have done it without you!

NEW HOUSE... IMAGES #1

The house is almost complete... the baby's room has a few more days of work, but we're almost there. Oh, right... we moved in the last month. Jacob is amazing and did most of the work himself. Julia was his little worker bee, and the two of them moved our entire house. I helped... but not as much as I wanted. They wouldn't let me lift anything over 20 pounds.

LIVING ROOM:
DINING ROOM:
KITCHEN:
BEDROOM:
BEDROOM:

NEW HOUSE... IMAGES #2

NEW HOUSE CON'T...

BEDROOM LOOKING INTO KITCHEN:
BEDROOM WITH PANELS DRAWN:
LOOKING INTO BABY'S ROOM (ACCENT LIGHTING AND FINISHING DETAILS STILL NEEDED):
THINGS THAT STILL NEED ORGANIZING:

38 Weeks

NAPPING:

IN THE GARDEN:


Just a short update: Only 2 more weeks! ...and now we wait.

The Time is NOW

Last night I woke up around 3 AM with energy and a filled mind. I couldn't fall back asleep. Instead I tossed, I turned, I thought about flowers and babies, I sat up and laid back down, I sang Rick Aistley in my head, and around 5 AM I woke up Jacob. In tears. Absolutely frustrated. Lucky for me ... Jacob is the most understanding and calming person for me to be living my life with. He rubbed my back and ears, talked me out of my tears, and within 15 minutes I feel right asleep.

This morning I talked to my midwife about this, and she said it's natures way of preparing me for motherhood. She advised me to watch movies or read, to get out of bed during the night, and learn to nap during the day. I feel better about talking to her (as always!) and will have to begin taking things slower.

There are only 5 more weeks until I'm due, and I just can't believe how fast this time has gone by. The most exciting part of my life is about to happen...

Gosh... 6 more... what??

Tonight we have our water birthing class. I'm super excited!!

The baby and the belly...

I sure make people happy. Walking down the street I am smiled at, waved to, and more people want to say hello to me than ever before. Now I know what it must be like to be famous.

The belly's so big... how big is it? The belly's so big it needs its own area code...

Day-to-Day people are stopping me in the grocery store to talk to me now. I'm rubbed and loved and praised and told how happy I make them. It's weird, and fascinating at the same time how life brings people happiness. I'm in a whole new world, and loving every minute of it...

HeShe

He believes it's a girl... I believe it's a boy. It's so fun we don't know the gender of our baby, and in the beginning of the pregnancy we were told by our families and friends it's annoying/frustrating that we didn't find out. But... I think everyone is kind of glad and excited because there's a bit of suspense and mystery in not knowing the gender. Place your bets, friends!!

While buying an onion at the farmer's market, the vendor asked me if I thought purchasing only one onion would be enough. I was a bit confused and said yes... then he replied, "Are you sure? There's two of you..." pointing at my belly. This was the opening dialog for the questions to begin. The vendor's questions fit in with all other pregnancy related questions I've been asked... they seem to have a formula of their own, and I'm positive any other pregnant woman would agree with me.

First Question: How far along are you/when are you due?

Second Question: Is it a boy, or a girl?

Third Question: YOU DON'T KNOW??

Fourth Question: Doesn't that drive you crazy/How can you stand not knowing??

What can I say? I don't like to ruin surprises. I don't open my Christmas presents before December 25th... why would I ruin the largest surprise I can ever give myself?

One of my favorite aspects about keeping the baby's gender a surprise is picking names. From the beginning we wanted to pick one name that would work for either a boy, or a girl. Now we're playing with tons of names and sounds. This morning we woke up before the sun and the first words out of Jacob's mouth were names for the baby. Word play, anyone??

To Pee, or not to Pee...

There are many great things about drinking tons of water during pregnancy- it keeps the body hydrated, the skin elastic to prevent stretching, and flushes the body of any toxins... keepin' it real healthy. The bad part is... pee-city. It's constant, and now I'm having a hard time telling when I have to actually go. Sometimes I feel like "OMG, I HAVE TO PEE!!", and then I sit and a small trickle comes out. Sometimes I don't feel like I have to pee and think it's just the baby, but then have to rush to the toiley to prevent an accidental wetting of the pants.

RBM

Caught on Film...

32 WEEKS... Jacob caught me doing some mommy prenatal yoga in the beautiful Chico sunlight! The weather is perfect right now, and it smells like life blooming. Here are some pictures of the belly. Only 8 Weeks to Go!! OMG... so excited.

The Head is Down...

Last night in our child birthing class we had a lactation consultant come in and talk to us about breast feeding... wow did I learn a lot of the overall benefits of breastfeeding! It amazes me some women opt NOT to breastfeed their child.

These are some major points that I found interesting...

* Breast milk is the most complete form of nutrition for infants. A mother's milk has just the right amount of fat, sugar, water, and protein that is needed for a baby's growth and development. Most babies find it easier to digest breast milk than they do formula.

* Breastfed babies score slightly higher on IQ tests because the breast milk has the right amount of fat necessary for brain development!!

* Breast milk is perfectly suited to nourish infants and protect them from illness. Mothers develop antibodies against illness and pass these antibodies on through the breast milk!!!

* Breast-fed infants have lower rates of hospital admissions, ear infections, diarrhea, rashes, allergies, and other medical problems than bottle-fed babies. OH!! And they don't spit up as often as bottle-fed babies... this is interesting because the way babies nurse from the breast give them the perfect amount of food (not too much or too little). When a bottle-fed baby drinks too much their little stomachs expand too fast and can lead to obesity later in life... and it's why they spit up all over the place (there's too much in there, gnar!).

Cow's milk contains a different type of protein than breast milk. This is good for calves, but human infants can have difficulty digesting it. It tears up their tummy's! Bottle-fed infants tend to be fatter than breast-fed infants, but not necessarily healthier. Cow milk for baby cows, human milk for baby humans!! DUH.

Ok... you get the point...

+++===+++
This morning I had my (31 week) midwife appointment. It went really well...

My midwife checked my legs and said I'm drinking the right amount of water. I have no bloating, and no swollen anything. She checked my heart and blood pressure and it's all perfect. The baby's heart beat is really strong and healthy. The head is down!!! I'm really excited about that... and the baby is getting bigger (16 inches OMG!) I carry the baby in front of me because I'm small and have a small torso, which makes me look huge. I weigh 170 now (daaaaaaaaang).

She's told me twice now that I'm going to be fine during labor... gave me a lot of compliments about how well I'm taking care of myself and I have the right frame of mind to succeed. It was a good visit all around... it relieved some worries and made me feel good about where I am and how I'm doing as a momma.

Like Mother ... like daughter...

This was my mom in 1977 about 8 months pregnant with ME!!

Thursday I'll be 31 weeks. Yes, true story. I've got 9 weeks left. OMG.

The Joys of Sharing...

"Did you feel that??"

"Um.. no."

"Wait, did you feel that???"

"Is that gas??"

...+++...

For the past few months I have been the only one able to feel the baby move around and do what babies do in utero, and Jacob has been able to feel the small kicks for about one month now- what can we say? The baby loves hisher daddy's voice. But now... friends are able to feel it!! This makes me so happy and it's awesome to watch the reaction. Last night Julia and I were laying on my bed and the baby was rolling around in there, so we put her hand on the area and she felt the movement!! And... she screamed and laughed. It was a great moment. Zia loves her little nephewniece.

Placenta...

I remember a few years ago hearing a story of a woman who named her baby girl... Placenta. That's right... Placenta. I'm not sure what her problem was, but that poor girl is walking around this Earth giving people an image of a bloody organ.

Up until last night I had not given one thought about delivering the placenta. You think, "Oh, the baby's out!!! Give me my baby!!! OH... Phew... the hard work is over! Time to relax..." But, no. You have a few minutes to chill out before the uterine wall starts clamping and cramping down around the organ that provided nourishment to the baby for the past 10 months. A gush of blood comes trickling out and once again, you have to push. Granted, this is nothing compared to passing a child through the birth canal, and it only takes a few minutes compared to the hours of labor. It is the Third Stage of Labor, and an important one.

You gotta love youtube!

BuzzzBoingBop

This whole pregnancy I have believed the baby to be a boy... I've had a total of 6 dreams now where we have a son. In these dreams the baby is absolutely beautiful and makes me so happy. Becoming a parent is one of the best parts of living. I've learned so much about myself, Jacob, labor & delivery, love & support, and leading a consistent healthy lifestyle. When you're ready, I highly suggest it.

Another side of bliss is stress... last week I was stressed for a few days because the baby wasn't moving as frequently or erratic as before. It brought up a lot of fear and anxiety, which made for restless nights. This, of course, has now changed and the baby is moving harder and more baby-ish.

My hips have started giving me pain, another reason for rest(sleep)less nights. My body is releasing hormones that helps relax and soften my joints and muscles. This is happening to help prepare my body for labor & delivery. I flip and toss and moan for most of the night, but at least my body is doing what it's supposed to be doing.

78 days to go...

28 Weeks Later...

It kind of scares me that me and the baby have 3 more months to grow. I'm going to need to join forces with the the circus sideshow freaks. For everyone who told me I was small... get a load of the baby belly now. EEK.

BTW- I have 12 more weeks until my due date. TIR... That's like really soon.

Was that a head, or an ass?

This morning around 3:45 am I was woken by a lot of movement happening on the left-side of my body. I placed my hands on the area and felt a totally new and different occurance, a hard and round part of the baby. The hard and round object, which I believe to be the head or butt of our baby, moved from right to left depending on where my hand was placed. It was a close encounter of the natural kind! It felt so so so weird... I can't compare this feeling to anything I've ever experienced, and it's even harder to describe. But let this be said, I definately have a baby in there.

Sofa King Real

Totally going to this.

Please watch the trailer:

The Business of Being Born

What's going on in there?

Here's a short video on what goes on in there during labor:

Informative Video

Still Cookin'

This morning I had a midwife appointment, and our baby was playing with the heart beat monitor... it was so fricken neat!! The midwife placed the monitor wand on my belly and our baby kicked/pushed it! Then she would put the monitor wand in a different spot, and we would hear the beat... then the baby would kick the monitor wand again! This happened about 3 times. It was rad. The little one is developing a personality.

Also, all day the baby has been dancing, running from the cops again, doing laps in the hamster cage, dirt twirling, practicing yoga, or whatever it is babies do in the womb. This is the first day I have felt movement all day. And I'll tell you all... it's kind of exhausting me. I feel starved and tired.

Survivng

No, no... I didn't go into labor over the weekend. This is a picture of a baby who was delivered at 27 weeks. This is how big our baby is right now.

Prenatal, Postnatal, Por Vida!

Last week I started Prenatal Yoga, and I believe it to be one of the best practices towards preparation for labor. Not only does it stretch certain important areas, but it also empowers the mind and fills the mother-to-be with a security that can only come from within. It tones the legs for strength, arms for holding, and mind for peace. During my first session I tapped into my worries and fears and replaced these emotions with a belief to trust my baby and my body.

Living life in this modern world is stressful, annoying, heavy, and can be hard on our minds and bodies if we don't take the time to slow down and open our eyes to the beauties in our lives. The gods are laughing as we run around taking care of business, feeding our faces with the little pleasantries of service, forgetting about the simplistic joys of domestication, and climbing that ladder that doesn't exist. This world we all find ourselves living in caters to our fears. It urges us to spend money we don't have, and to fear what we in fact DO have.

Pregnancy is one of those life activities that everyone is afraid of before they experience it. We're shown screaming woman in pain, scared fathers fainting as they watch in terror, a child gasping for air for the first time, and the extremely tired female body deflating. These are some reasons why I was afraid of ever becoming pregnant. It seemed to be impossible for me, and I couldn't understand why women go through the huge ordeal. But when faced with the prospect of everlasting love and partnership, creating a family, facing my fears, living life the best way I can... not having a child was no longer an option. My attitude had to change, and I had 9 months to prepare my mind and body for one of the most amazing events I will ever experience.

In 14 weeks I will be hitting my due date, which YES! ...is frightening, but the more I prepare myself in every way I can the easier it will be to combat this fear. It's a lot of work, but it's my duty as a mother to be selfless and determined to do the best I can. Life is beautiful... and I'm so thankful to be apart of it.

Family Car!!!

We bought our first family car from a very nice (older) couple who were the fist owners and drove the car only 26K miles!! It's so nice, and the first car I've owned with AC. TIR.

YAY! Car seat and stoller to come.

Natural Birth... call me a hippy...

Well, I was going to write this whole entry about why I am not delivering our baby in a 'traditional' way and instead we're going to try a water birthing method. I was going to direct you to links of videos online comparing the two different ways you can bring a child into the world, but I don't want to scare too many of you. It's pretty graphic and a lot of screaming goes on...

...but if you want to see the differences: Go to youtube, search "water birth" or "hypnobirthing" or "unassisted birth", and watch a few videos. Kind of scary, but not too bad... there's a lot of love and a little pain, but for the most part it looks relatively do-able. Kind of like taking a big, hard dump. ***Then, type in the simple word: "birth"... and just take a look at all that blood and poking the vag and pulling the baby's head out and intrusive behaviour!!! Ugh... makes me wonder why the hell women go through all that unnecessary pain.

I do not want a doctor's fingers (no matter how gentle they are) pulling my vag and reaching inside for the head... dude, it will come! Be Patient! OH!! and do not put my legs in stirrups, either. Let me squat, lean, stand, sit in water, and be comfortable. This is the baby's time, and not yours.

Week 25

This was taken just 30 minutes ago, and I'm in awe of my mass. If the next month grows like the previous month I just don't know what will become of me. Does anyone know of a good tent-dress designer?

Getting Impatient...

It's been almost 2 months since we saw our little herhim on the radiology screen. I keep wondering what shehe looks like now with fat on herhis body. I have 3 more months to go, and I'm already starting to get impatient. What will the final month be like??? Wow... anxious. Totally can't wait to meet the little girlguy.

So, I finally committed myself to a baby registry. Here is the link... let me know if I've forgotten the most essential baby thing in the whole existance of baby things... and I'll add it. Or if I've gone overboard with adding things that I don't need- please feel free to tell me I'm nuts.

baby registry link

Oh, speaking of nuts... I crave almonds right now. Last week it was muffins, but this week it's almonds. I guess it could be worse... like a good, healthy pickle and mayo sandwich craving. I've heard they're all the rage this season.

A Few Weeks Ago

This was before the New Year... as you can see by the date, dur!!

Tears of Endearment

Three huge milestones have occurred starting my 25th week. The first being I'm noticeably, noticeably pregnant. Frankly, I walk with a hitch in my giddy-up, and I have the Belly. While in San Francisco this past weekend a few friends and I were riding the MUNI between the Mission District and Downtown for a shopping extravaganza! On our way back to the Mission a woman on the overcrowded MUNI tapped me on the shoulder and offered me her seat. Apparently this is what happens when you're pregnant: Special Treatment.

The second stone to land on my plate is the weight gain. I've been slowly gaining weight this whole time, and to be honest I thought I would skate through this pregnancy gaining only the baby. However, I stepped on the scale yesterday and in the past month alone I've gained 5 pounds!! EEK... I blame the holidays.

Now the tears have always flown freely from my emo eyes... but the past few weeks I've been a damned waterfall. Jacob and I were playing around the other night and he started to tickle me, which any other non-pregnancy time would just get me laughing hysterically. Well, this hysterical laughter brought me to a confused emotion of laughing-screaming-crying. I started bawling and laughing at the same time. I just started sobbing, and he had to hold me. Nothing is more strange than sobbing for laughing. The whole thing was surreal. AND then today I received this link from my good friend Kennedy:

BABY MOVIE

...which just really sent me over the edge. The whole thing from their beautiful babies to the music to the belly to the dialog between Ethan and Carol when she's in the hospital and says how nervous she is. It made me think of all the growing that is going on within myself and it made me feel very connected to other humans. Deeply moved... I cried for my baby, for Jacob, for me, and for this beautiful family that we're starting.

Oh, I guess there's another thing that happened recently: my breasts look like a map of San Francisco- they're that veiny.

Movement in Utero

Ladies, you know when you go to the gyno and they poke around in there and it's kind of uncomfortable because... well... someone's poking around in there? Ok, well take that feeling minus the stirrups, instruments, and gyno and you have BABY MOVING!!

I just started my 6th month (I KNOW!!!) and the baby really likes to dance around in my uterus and punch me in the cervix. About 3 or 4 times during the night/early morning I am awoken by the restless little swimmer. Uh OH!! Takes after the momma... whoops!! We have a night owl...

After I wake up there's a game I play for 30 -90 minutes of HOW DO I GET COMFY?? Being a belly sleeper I've had to learn to sleep on my side. RBM. I need to invest in a body pillow and a better matress topper because my hips ache in the morning and my legs fall asleep... another rbm.

OK... enough bitching... THE most wonderful thing about feeling the baby move is the connection I am starting to make. When I feel it moving about I place my hands firm on my belly and it seems to have a calming effect. AND... Jacob felt it moving the other day... almost threw me in tears.

I can't wait for you to feel it.

IT = HIM/HER... HE/SHE...
IT = non-gender specific... although I've had 2 dreams now where it's a boy.

Prenatal yoga starts next week!! I'm so excited. The walking has diminished due to the weather... sad, but true. Must take it indoors now. Plus, yoga will help during the birth. Gotta stay relaxed and loose.